"Lord, what do You want me to do today?" I groan under the weight of an onerous to-do list, taking another clean glass out of the dishwasher.
"Find Me today." The voice is quiet but clear.
I sigh, knowing it's true but not wanting to do it. Knowing that He is Peace but still holding onto the futile hope that activity and action, busyness and productivity, doing and going will give me the rest I crave. It seems silly when I write it out like that. Yet that is the decision that faces me day after day, moment after moment, the decision in which I too often make the wrong choice. Why do you spend money for what is not bread, and your labor for what does not satisfy? My people have committed two evils: they have forsaken Me, the fountain of living waters, and hewn for themselves broken cisterns that can hold no water.
"To know God is to realize there's no such thing as ordinary and all our ache is only for more of His glory," she writes. It rings true. Then why do I resist it so? It takes faith. "For the things which are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." I am an Israelite, wanting the immediate satisfaction (that doesn't last) of a Golden Calf I can see rather than the truly satisfying rest of the Invisible God.
I chafe under the waiting that will open my eyes to His glory. Did I not tell you that if you believed you would see the glory of God? Listen diligently to Me, and eat what is good, and delight yourselves in rich food. Incline your ear, and come to Me; hear, that your soul may live. You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart. I will be found by You.
Oh, God, give me a heart, a taste, a desire for Your glory. Give me courage to wait for it, to choose what is unseen, to choose the better portion. Incline my heart to your testimonies and not to selfish gain! Turn my eyes away from looking at worthless things; and give me life in your ways.
Is it really true? Will I really find the rest I crave if I just go to Him? A holy experiment. "Come and see," He says.
Monday, August 9, 2010
*that I have seen so much beauty and received so much grace lately that I feel a little overwhelmed at the prospect of recounting it all
*a out-of-town membership to Lewis Ginter (thanks, Mom!)*the Children's Garden *exuberant 4 year olds who boldly dash in and out of the spray*shy 16 month olds who gradually warm up enough boldness to reach out and let the spray hit their hand
*getting caught in a warm rain shower in the middle of it all
*laughing at the situation
*the walk back to the top through the dark green shadowy trail
*"This feels like Neverland!"
*getting sick at Grandmommy's
*camping out on the sofa and watching The Sound of Music
*4 year old decorated birthday cakes*train rides with Grandmommy
*the Farm*my daughters getting to spend the night in their great-great grandmother's house, great-grandmother's house, and grandmother's house in a 3-day span!
*laughing hard with cousins*catching up
Posted by Mary at 6:36 AM