As I've prayed about this question and asked God to show me how I can prepare to depend on Him, I think I've been half-expecting some amazing new revelation or insight into the Christian life. Really, it came down to three familiar things: pray, know and trust God's word, and lean on others. God keeps it simple for us, doesn't He?
I know that, for a lot of Christians, leaning on other people is a challenge. At this stage in the game, I like to think that I don't have a problem with this, but we'll see what happens when the rubber hits the road! For now, one way I'm preparing to depend on Jesus is by relying on the generosity and help of family and friends. I have not shirked back from welcoming grandparents to come to Louisville to help out during the transition. I already have formed in my mind a list of willing friends I can call who can watch Katie for a couple hours or just speak words of wisdom and hope on rough days. God is honored when we humble ourselves and seek His help through the people He has placed in our lives. Plus, it gives other people the opportunity to experience joy through sacrificial service...don't steal that chance from those around you!
It's funny that something as central to the Christian life as prayer can easily be sidelined when life gets tough. In fact, it's quite silly (foolish, stupid, etc) how quick I am to turn to my own feeble resources instead of to my almighty, kind, and gracious heavenly Father. God Himself has invited us to come to His throne of grace about absolutely anything (Hebrews 4:15-16, Philippians 4:6, 1 Peter 5:7)! We are fools if we do not take Him up on this invitation that was purchased for us by Jesus' own precious blood. I know that the Lord wants me to depend on Him during this season (and every day) by coming to Him regularly and frequently, at planned times and spontaneously, pouring out my heart to Him, asking Him to do for me what I can't do for myself.As for knowing and trusting God's word, this entire series on motherhood has been a sort of exercise in reminding myself what God has said in order that I might cling to His truth in dark times. I will need to know and trust His promise that His grace is sufficient for me on days when my emotions are wacky and I'm on the verge of losing it. Even more, I will need to know and trust His promise of lavish forgiveness in Christ when I actually lose it and sin against my family or wallow in anxiety.
One other thing I've been doing is imagining likely scenes of future failure and rehearsing what a Christ-dependent response would be. So, for example, let's say that Caroline is 3 weeks old (which means I'm sufficiently sleep-deprived and starting to feel the effects) and she is not falling back asleep after her 2am feeding. How do I depend on Christ when I feel myself start to slip over the edge? Depending on Jesus might look like depending on people...waking up Adam to pray with me or letting him stay up with the baby so I can get some rest. Depending on Jesus would be praying and asking Him to help Caroline fall asleep, to give me wisdom about what to do, to encourage my heart and bolster my thoughts and emotions. Depending on Jesus would mean remembering Romans 12:1 about being a living sacrifice or Hebrews 13:5 and finding comfort in the reality of His presence with me at all times.
But the beautiful thing about Jesus Christ is that even if I fail to do any of those things, and I run headlong into despair and selfishness, His love for me and His promises of grace do not cease to be real and active on my behalf. The good news about Jesus is that He holds onto His own when they lack the strength to hold Him.
1 comment:
Oh Mary, Mary,
I wanted to visit you without interrupting your tight down to the wire schedule of preparing your nest! I realize you need space, time, peace and quiet to prepare for the days to come with two little munchkins are in your family!
Think on these words: Perhaps His preparing for You is just as vital as your preparing to depend or be ready for God is in the business of preparing the way....
It is so wonderful that you are preparing and working to have it all ready. Recently,scripture that seems to be in bold print may be encouraging. Perhaps you will see life a little differently on this Sabbath and this week if you think about how HE is, has and will always PREPARE FOR YOU!
Jesus said, "All ye who are weak and heavy laden, come, and I will give you rest..for your souls."
I am seeing the most important events in life can never be known ahead of time. Oh the JOY of knowing that God is a God of amazing surprises! Only those who have seen our Lord really, really know and understand how true His promise of preparing a place FOR Us really is this: HIS PREPARING FOR US...........NOT, you preparing for Him. You could never have known how much you would love Adam and then Katie, could you?
I would love to think that you will cease your labors and do what He says, "Come unto me........." He will do the rest. Let Him prepare you, sweet Mary. You are all in my prayers. Make sure someone calls me when Caroline arrives! I found out by way of the hotel manager last time!
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